Consider this a PSA for all of my widow friends out there. Abel Keogh literally wrote the book on Dating a Widower. In one of his blog posts, he warns widows that "Widowers are men. That means they act and behave like men. And men aren’t that hard to understand."
I recommend the article to widows and divorced women, especially. I hope that a book written by a man, and recommended by another man, is enough to proceed with caution. Several of my favorite widows have also become divorcees because they ended up with the wrong man.
I wear different hats in my role, mainly because my clients talk with me about their most private and vulnerable life circumstances. So, naturally, I hear about dating, and I get excited to hear about that. One of the hats I wear is the "protector" hat. I consider it a duty and a genuine desire to protect my clients in many ways. I have had to protect clients from their children, I regularly protect them from the predatory salesmen out there, and I am very protective, almost like a son to a mother, of my widow or divorced clients who date. Before you ask, I have had a client ask me to meet her boyfriend because she trusts my judgment.
Like a son is to his mother, my desire for my clients is to help them seek peace, joy, and love, which takes many forms. I believe we are created to be social beings, and having a companion can be crucial to a fulfilling life. While we recognize that having a spouse isn't for everyone, it is a road many travel for a second time.
Though you may share a common bond, along with a little spark, don't fall into excusing behavior that is disguised as grief.
For those of you out there reading my work, wondering about the many things I do for clients, you can add "protector" to the list. I would say "relationship consultant", but I don't think my compliance department would appreciate that.